It’s not you, it’s me.

If I can be honest (and I believe I can be), my biggest struggle last year and currently is finding a church. I have moved past the point of frustration, through apathy and I’m now to the point of desperation. I’ve come to the conclusion that the problem has to be me. Maybe I’m being to picky. Maybe I’m making this all about me. Maybe I just need to stop being so selfish and just pick a church to serve in. If it were only that easy…

Here are a few things that people THINK that I want in a church:

1. An active singles ministry
2. Rockin’ worship music
3. An active singles ministry
4. Small/Home/Cell/Life/Community/Anything-But-Sunday-School Groups
5. An active singles ministry
6. New

1, 3, 5: Please, please, please don’t tell me about your singles ministry. I’m not sure where the idea came from that all single people want to do is eat dinner with other single people from the church. I know I’m socially awkward, but I don’t really need help making friends. Single people should BE IN ministry, we don’t need a “special” ministry for us.

2. Rockin’ Music: Growing up in the church, hymns are actually very familiar to me. If I’m humming a tune at work or around the house, there’s a pretty good chance that it’s a hymn. That said, I’m not really all that concerned with the style of music, rather the content. If worship is our response to who God is, it should be meaningful. I love the old hymns but I also love churches that write their own stuff.

4. Small Groups: This one actually has been a recent change for me. I’m not saying I don’t like small groups–I think they are essential. What I am saying is that small groups that meet throughout the week are not Sunday school. What I mean by Sunday school is teaching. Small groups are more about Christian community which includes teaching, but not to the extent that can be facilitated in a class-like setting.

6. New: New is scary, especially when it comes to the Church and scripture. Don’t try to invent something new, TEACH us tradition and history. I don’t need cool videos and candles or lights. Teach me and encourage me and EXPECT me to read the Bible.

Here are a few things that I would LOVE in a church:

1. Old people: Okay, so I don’t typically refer to them as “old people”, but in a lot of churches that have focused on attracting the younger crowd, they have neglected the older crowd. These churches have a lot of zeal and energy, but 30 year-olds haven’t been doing much of anything for 20 or 30 years. I think wisdom and experience are vital in a church.

2. Food: I love food. I love cooking food, I love eating food, I love watching TV shows about food. More importantly, I love cooking and eating food with other people. Sure, we can go out to eat at that Mexican restaurant (again), but there is something much more intimate about cooking and sharing a meal with someone. It’s kind of like family.

I’m certain I can find plenty of churches that are full of old people that have a pot-luck or covered dish meal at some point in the week, and if only it were that simple! I suppose my next post should be about the deeper things that have made finding a church so difficult. Things like beliefs. It’s complicated; more complicated than it should be.