Housekeeping

I’ve made a few minor changes to my blog, so I thought I’d be a good host and update everyone on the changes. First, my last blog post about Kellie Shehan continues to generate a number of hits from Google from all over the country, so I thought I’d give that post a more permanent home as a page. You can read it here or find in on the on the right under “Pages”.

Second change, I decided to axe the Runner’s World running log (no, not because I haven’t been running…) because it’s slow (so am I) and it causes problems with my blog. If they decide to improve to code, I may give it another shot. Maybe I’ll cook up something to replace it… maybe.

That’s all the changes. Anything you’d like to see? Your comments and suggestions are warmly encouraged.

Labels

I’ve had a fairly interesting denominational journey — lots of labels have been assigned by myself and by others, none of which really helped me understand my faith.  If I label myself as a Christian, does that make me a Christian?  If only it were that easy!  Sadly, many are duped into believing that it is.

The problem with labels is that if I tell someone I’m Baptist or a Calvinist, I am then forced to describe what I mean by Baptist or Calvinist, because I have no idea what they understand the terms to mean.  At this point, we must agree on what I mean by “Baptist” or “Calvinist” or else there is a great risk of miscommunication.  I borrowed this from Mortimer Adler’s book titled “How to Read a Book”:

“A term is not a word — at least, not just a word without further qualifications.  If a term and a word were exactly the same, you would only have to find the important words in a book in order to come to terms with it.  But a word can have many meanings, especially an important word.  If the author uses a word in one meaning, and the reader reads it in another, words have passed between them, but they have not come to terms.   Where there is unresolved ambiguity in communication, there is no communication or at best communication must be incomplete.”

I’ve learned that it is much easier to put on a label rather than surrender to it as the conclusion of exploration, thought and experience.  For most of my life I have been “Methodist” because that was what the sign said on the building, not because I spent many sleepless nights discerning what it was that I actually believed.  In the same vain, I was a “Christian” because I did what Christians were suppose to do — go to church, (occasionally) read the Bible and pray.  The labels were convenient, and when I used them people assumed things about me that I even assumed about myself.  Then God happened…

August 19, 2002, I’m at Metro Bible Study in Plano, Texas completely broken.  For the first time in my life I knew that God loved me.  I didn’t walk an aisle, or pray a prayer — I didn’t even “decide to follow Jesus” — I just sat there, unable to move, basking in His presence.  It wasn’t until last week that I realized this was the moment God saved me.  I thought I was suppose to make a decision!  What about my free will?  How can my love for God be genuine if I had no choice?  Maybe the “choice” was so obvious, I didn’t even have to make it.  Maybe the offer was so irresistible that I could do nothing but accept it.  When your eyes are opened, you don’t decide to see — you just see.

“When the Spirit illuminates the heart, then a part of the man sees which never saw before; a part of him knows which never knew before, and that with a kind of knowing which the most acute thinker cannot imitate.” A.W. Tozer

As vividly as I can recall that day, I only remember the date because afterwards I bought the tape (tape? honestly?) of that night’s message.  It was some tall, skinny guy I had never heard of named Matt Chandler (that might help to explain my “man-crush” on Matt — though it still doesn’t excuse it haha).  Before that moment, my basis for calling myself a Christian was unsubstantiated — it simply wasn’t true.

The funny thing is, since becoming a Christian I have used the term less and less.  After coming the the conclusion that I was one, the label just wasn’t as important to me anymore.

I’m Famous

I posted this on twitter a while back, but now that it’s on YouTube I thought I’d put it on the blog.  This is a 30 second commercial for the University of North Texas, the school I worked for back in 07 – 08.  I was an academic advisor there and part of my job was to serve as a marshal at graduations (if you will recall, I gave a very moving speech one year which got everyone to their feet…).  Anyway, the short of it is, because of my “great smile” they wanted to get a shot of me posing as a student to use in their video.  It felt as awkward as it looks — watch for me around the 25 second mark:

Because it takes so much time…

I figured out the reason I haven’t been blogging as much (and why I don’t write e-mail messages to my friends very often) — because it take so much time.  Not that I don’t have a lot of extra time, and not that you all are not worth my time, but it’s exhausting for me.  Most of it is brought on by myself; my fear of writing something I didn’t mean or of exposing any heretical beliefs causes me to check, and re-check and then doubt and then check again.  The doubt that I have any idea about what I’m talking about continues until you reply to my e-mail or leave a comment.  You can only imagine the fear that runs through my mind when nobody comments or when an e-mail is not replied to.  Because of all that fear, I spend over an hour writing a blog post and some e-mail messages — especially if I’m talking about spiritual things.  I even have my computer read my post or e-mail out loud to me before I publish or send it, just to be sure it’s right.  Some of that fear is healthy I guess (helps reduce typos) but a lot of it probably isn’t (it’s called “fear of man” — fearing what others think to an extent that alters motives and actions.  The opposite of this is the “fear of God”, fyi).  Anyway, just thought I’d share where I’m coming from.  This post took me 30 minutes to write…  if you don’t comment, I’ll go a little crazy, but I’ll just assume you are trying to help me work through my fears ;-)