Dry beans have to soak overnight before cooking.  That means if I want to eat beans tonight, I had to know that I wanted to LAST night so I could let them soak.  So now I’m learning that I’ve got to know what I want ahead of time so that the proper arrangements can be made.  A novel concept in today’s microwave society.

So I’ve been giving a lot of thought over the past few weeks about my career goals and how I don’t really have any.  I’ve got ideas and dreams but I haven’t put anything down on paper and said “this is what I’m going to do in life”.  Part of me has been afraid — what if God doesn’t approve?  What if I’m acting in direct opposition to His will?  What if I fail?  It’s extremely hard to make any progress when you don’t know what direction you suppose to be going in.  What am I suppose to be doing right now?

As I said before in an earlier post, my current dream is to teach at SFA.  Over the past few months that dream hasn’t diminished so I’m at a point where I’ve got to start dealing with it; testing its viability — do I want to be in school for another 5-7 years?  Am I capable of doing the work for a Ph.D?  Does this fall within the boundaries of His will for my life?

Once I’ve answered those questions then I’ve got to ask, Is my current place in life leading me to this?  Am I financially, emotionally and mentally responsible enough to pursue another degree (followed by another degree)?  Are there any road blocks or hinderances that I need to address before going down this path?  Am I ready for whatever obstacles (financial, emotional, and mental) that will arise once I’ve started down this path?

I’ve got way more questions than answers at this point.  To add to the question side of the equation, I’m starting to wonder if I’m physically in the right place.  I have again begun to entertain the idea of moving back to Nacogdoches  for better opportunities, both financial and educational.  As for now, I’ve got a few questions to answer.