“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:1-5

This has been the “7th Heaven” theme (you know, how every episode of 7th Heaven has an overall theme and everyone’s problems all relate to that theme) of my life the last few weeks. I’m struggling to be a good employee, student, friend, accountability partner and have found myself in this place of chaotic despair — I can’t do it. My prayers usually went to the tune of “God I need your help”. Then, He gave me this passage. He never said, “do as much as you can on your own, then come to me when you need some help”, but that’s how I tend to live my life. With that mentality I’ve been trying to produce fruit and asking God for a little help along the way which doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. It doesn’t say that the one who bears fruit abides in Him but the opposite, the one who is abiding in Christ will bear fruit. It’s not about the fruit! It’s never been about the fruit! God’s not asking me to “try harder” or to “do better” — as if to say His sacrifice wasn’t enough. It screams of arrogance for which I find myself repenting of frequently.

I think I make things hard for myself. I mistake busyness for obedience. I pour energy and time into doing tasks neglecting the true vine, the source of power and life and that neglect is slowly killing me. But God is faithful and good — we operate under a WHOLE lot of grace. He corrects me along the way and gives me opportunities daily to abide and trust in Him.